Who gets to decide what's right and wrong?

I realized something today... there's nothing wrong with me. My whole life I've thought there was something wrong with me, but I'm just a little different than most people are. I'm very much an introvert, and kind of a loner sometimes. I don't like huge groups of people and I do better hanging out with only one or a couple friends at a time. Socializing is exhausting for me because it's something I have to work at because it doesn't come naturally to me, so I need time alone sometimes. My whole life I've been told things like why aren't you talking, why are you on your phone or computer, why don't you go out with us, why do you do this or that, etc. The answer is because it's not who I am. I've tried forever to change that about myself like it is wrong, but it's not wrong it's just me. Yeah I'm quiet, shy, nerdy, and a little socially awkward at times, but thats what makes me loyal, caring, a good listener, and all the things that make me me. In my experience not very many people who come into my life stay. For reasons I never seem to know or understand majority of people leave. Every time it hurts and I spend forever trying to figure out what was wrong with me or what I did wrong. Maybe it's not me. I don't normally give up on people if they can't understand, accept, and appreciate the way I am then maybe I'm better off without them... I need to keep the people who don't care and just like me for me not the people who disappear or feel it's their job to "fix" or change me. I think living alone and not playing softball actually made me come to this conclusion because I do spend an a lot of time alone these days. Like anyone I hate being alone all the time or not having anyone to talk to but for the first time I'm comfortable and feel like I have a place to consider a home to go to at the end of everyday. I don't feel like there's anyone watching me or trying to get me to do things differently and the people that I do still see on a regular basis they don't try to pressure me into things they know that this is just me and there's nothing wrong with that.

A New Thought.

So it's been forever since I've posted anything on here. I think I'm going to try and start again. I've been thinking a lot lately about life and such and realized something. I realized that I've been spending pretty much my whole life trying to be the person that I thought my parents and everyone around me wanted me to be. I've never really done much for myself and I never really worried about what I wanted because I never really thought that mattered. I'm a people pleaser, and I always have been, but I've learned I can't give up who I really am and what I want in the process. Being who other people want or think you should be is actually kind of the easy way out. It may seem hard, but you never have to figure out anything on your own, there's this idea of a plan and person in your head already that you're just trying to copy. Nothing good can really come out of that, I don't know of anyone that has had success with that. I know I sure haven't.

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." -- E.E. Cummings